I was raised Catholic…baptized as an infant, went to mass, said my prayers, believed in God. But I didn’t really KNOW Him until I was 36 years old. Up until then my life was normal, ups and downs, but God was always at a distance.
My husband and I had been trying to have our 1st baby for over 5 years, and I was depressed, obsessed, frustrated, and lost. I had put trying to have a baby before everything, even God. I was difficult to be around because I was sad, and became envious of my friends who were having babies.
My sister had recently become a Born Again Christian and was nudging me to accept Jesus. I had seen the positive changes in her life, but I was still resistant, I felt that I wasn’t ready because we had been sinning by doing IVF (a Catholic belief). I thought I wasn’t good enough. I thought I’ll wait until I get pregnant and get my life in order, then I’ll accept Jesus. Boy was I wrong! Jesus wants us to come to Him now, as we are, He loves us.
Then she prayed that He would give me the desire of my heart for a baby, and that I would dedicate him/her to Him. Of course, I would! I felt good afterwards but not too different. Still trying to get pregnant, still obsessed, but God was starting to change me with the Holy Spirit now in me. My sister gave me a Bible and I started reading it for the first time in my life.
Two weeks later we went on a trip to do another IVF cycle, this time with donor embryo, which we had started trying with 3 cycles before this (after 4 IVF’s of our own). I know now that God connected me with someone who introduced us to this wonderful option. I got pregnant with my daughter! We had little signs and miracles the whole way through, it was amazing. On our trip my bible fell out of my suitcase front pocket and we found it on the turnstile after all the luggage was picked up; our waitress at the hotel was named “Diana” and she was pregnant; the movie we saw after the procedure was called “Miracle” about the Olympic Hockey Team; there was a gorgeous sunset that night; I could go on and on. I still didn’t really know God, but He knew me, and was blessing us! I didn’t accept Jesus to get pregnant, in fact I was just so broken and needed more, and surrendered all to Him. It was an incredible surprise!
I realized that by accepting Jesus into my heart as my Lord and Savior, my life changed. The Holy Spirit started transforming me for the better and I couldn’t be more grateful.
My journey continues with lots of ups and downs, and I am truly getting to know God more and more. He has carried me through more storms, and has given me joy and peace regardless of my circumstances, He is my rock. I am serving in my community and have hopes to do more, God willing.
The blessing of another child happened 4 years later, and now our family is complete. I couldn’t be more grateful.
But the biggest blessing is that I am a child of God, and will be with Him forever.